


a wild, quiet thing

by martyrsdaughter



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: Babysitting, Banter, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, Pack Dynamics, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Relationship (mostly)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martyrsdaughter/pseuds/martyrsdaughter
Summary: Beatrice covered her face in her hands, but there was no mistaking the amusement in Isobel's voice: "So.It hasn't escaped my notice that your behavior grew irregular when Kit Monahan arrived. Are you being courted by a cat?"
Relationships: Beatrice Gault/Kit Monahan
Comments: 32
Kudos: 86
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	a wild, quiet thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tielan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/gifts).



> One day, Nalini will give me proper timelines. Until that day, I have approximated after several hours of agony. I loved the idea of Beatrice and Kit from the moment I read my dear author letter, and I'm so happy to contribute fic for them! This is set around 6 years after Trinity was signed, making Kit 28 and Beatrice 21.
> 
> If you are interested in who I was imagining in the movie playing in my head of this fic (with some hair color/eye color changes of course), I had Dahyun from Twice as Beatrice and Sam Larsen (specifically his hair/look in the movie _Recovery_ ) for Kit. You are more than welcome to imagine who you wish, but I ride pretty hard for Korean Beatrice.

Every day, Beatrice Gault woke and tapped two fingers on the note taped to the side of her nightstand.

She always slept on her side, facing the door, a habit from years of Arrow conditioning that meant she would never miss it, either. The note was not in her own handwriting, nor did she think the author even remembered writing it. Combined with the tape that affixed it, the thing almost felt like a relic from before Silence. Yet research showed that hand-written notes were considered by others to be the result of care and effort, and so Zaira and Aden both took time to write notes and letters to their family unit when need be.

This one was short and to the point, in Zaira's spiky black handwriting: _I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU WILL BE BRAVE._ She always wrote in capital letters for some reason, but Beatrice thought it sounded bold. Confidence she still struggled to attain was etched in every decisive stroke.

The words, taped to the inside of her door on the day Beatrice set out on her first field mission, always filled her with a sense of faith from outside the self. It didn't matter how many years passed between then and now. The paper, fraying at the edges, still settled her when she woke from a nightmare, gave her courage to face each day no matter what lay before her.

Today, the task was an enjoyable one.

Beatrice dressed carefully, anticipating the shift in temperature between the Valley and her destination. Gloves and hat folded into the pockets of a grey woolen coat, she tucked her jeans into combat boots. You could take the Arrow away from the Valley, but at her core, she wouldn't run from who she was. Nor would she ignore what she was capable of, should the children under her care come into threat.

That was why she also holstered a gun at her back, shoved a knife in her boot, and reflexively tested her telepathic skills as she walked out the door. _Anything I need to know with this group? You had them last week._

Masoud, another Arrow just a year older than her, replied moments later: _Nothing unusual. Carolina and Bernadetta are growing close to crossing to the next age bracket, so they may speak with you about it._

While his telepathy was low as a high-gradient TK, she was waiting and able to 'catch' his reply, thus limbering up her psychic muscles as she walked to the designated meeting point. The information was indeed useful. Masoud was not considered 'approachable' in the way Beatrice was, likely from his extra year under Silence. Even a year of conditioning could feel like an era when you had been trained the way the Arrows were, and as Beatrice had been a year away from completing her conditioning, that milestone proved a significant difference in those of her age group.

 _I'll keep an eye on them. Thank you._ There was no response, but Beatrice didn't need one. Arrows were feeling beings now, but they still prided themselves on efficiency, and many of them still walked in the darkness too much to ever perfectly mind their manners.

As Beatrice neared the rendezvous point, she spotted Nerida waiting for her with Pietro, which meant it was Vasic's day off. Aden had mentioned trying to get him to take two, as the humans and changelings might in their day jobs, but the Arrow unit would never truly function like a human job. Besides, Vasic had assured her and everyone else that it was nothing to port the various child groups each day, taking a bare five minutes of his time when totaled and the smallest flex of his abilities. This 'day off' was a work in progress borne of several years whittling him down, and it made her happy each time she noted him using it.

"Good morning," Nerida said, only barely riding the edge of warmth. 

"Good morning. Isobel is late." 

"Am not," came a retort from behind Beatrice. Isobel stood so that their shoulders nearly brushed, their friendship close enough that she knew Beatrice would never rebuff a casual touch. "I was right behind you the whole time."

"You were not." Beatrice's smile flickered, brief but true. "You aren't capable of keeping silent that long." 

Before Isobel could argue, Nerida 'ported them to their destination, the Empathic Compound bustling with life just to the right as a picnic area stood before them. A moment later, Nerida was back with the children; juveniles on the cusp of teenage years, wanting to be grown but not quite knowing how to achieve it. She moved off with a wave toward the Arrow cabin, which still functioned with a rotating staff, as it was always the Arrows' job to protect the E's. In a few hours she would return, rested and refueled as was possible in the short time, before porting them back.

After having done this so many times, the children knew where to go, needing no encouragement as friends scampered out from the trees. As they mixed and intermingled, separating into friend groups, they almost looked like one amalgamated race, rather than their three separate parts.

Beatrice covered five young minds in her shields as the strongest telepath, with Isobel and Pietro covering three each, careful to be protective while remaining unobtrusive. This was a skill all teenage Arrows were taught, as they were given their responsibilities babysitting the youngest among them, but only those who showed a large amount of aptitude were tasked with overseeing these meetings.

It was essential that nothing go wrong here more than anywhere else. These meetings of the young of every race were a symbol of hope, and they needed to be protected from what an accident might do for those seeking to end them. It was an honor to be here and helping at all; though it had been years since either of them oversaw the "playdates" or gatherings, Zaira and Aden had been present at her first few, and in a small way this felt like stepping into their shoes.

Another person present at those first few meetings was approaching now from the opposite side, a smile on her face to match the one peeking out from her night-sky eyes. "Welcome back," Sienna Lauren Snow greeted, reaching out to touch Beatrice's arm. That was one of the many wonderful things about Sienna; she always started soft and let _you_ initiate as much contact as you could handle. In Beatrice's case, she was comfortable enough with Sienna to hug her hello, one of the reasons being that Sienna would never force her to. 

"I'm glad to be here," Beatrice admitted. While she was rarely rotated in for field work, her illusion skill was extremely rare and useful for intake. She was glad to see the newly recruited Arrow taken back to the Valley with minimal injuries to his family, but she'd lost a week of her normal work in trying to smoothly transition Jimin into his new life.

Sienna moved to greet Isobel and Pietro, and Beatrice focused on Carolina and Bernadetta. 

They were off to the side, cheerfully talking to Ben, a SnowDancer wolf, and the DarkRiver twins, Julian and Roman. All of them were on the cusp of being given roaming privileges, a term adopted from the cats' vocabulary and modified to mean something slightly different. While they were ported together by Vasic once every week, they were chaperoned only by one Arrow at any given time, there in case something went wrong but ultimately trusting them to leash their own power rather than being shielded at all times. It was a great sign of confidence in a Psy's abilities, and for the wolves and humans, it meant they could finally show their Arrow friends more of the outside world they told stories about. 

As for the Arrow chaperone, it was one of the ways in which the rosters were rotated between 'on' and 'off' duties. Many of the more senior people were far too accustomed to working non-stop to truly take breaks without feeling ill-used, so they'd been assigned instead to these simple tasks, giving them a break from field work while maintaining a sense of usefulness. It also allowed the juveniles room to grow while making them feel safe; there were no Arrows, even their most rambunctious young, that were not aware of the cost of their abilities.

The thought was a harsh reminder for Beatrice. The sound of her father's screams still reverberated in her mind, though her memories at such a young age were... fragmented, at best. While she maintained her shields on the children, her attention wavered, only to be snapped to by the sound of footsteps in the trees behind her.

It was instinctual to turn on her heel, psychic power reaching out to identify what she could about the threat while the gun hidden at her back made its way into her hand and pointed, dead steady, at the silhouette in the trees. There was a chance that the sentries patrolling this area had let them through, but there was also a chance that this was an intruder, and she was unwilling to take that chance.

Silence spread throughout their charges as Isobel and Pietro hurried her way, but before anything more drastic could happen, the figure emerged from the trees, holding his hands up. "Whoa, sorry," he called, and Beatrice watched in confusion as Sienna rushed forward, enveloping the intruder in a hug the moment she was close enough.

Beatrice watched for a beat, making sure she was unharmed, before lowering her weapon. "It's alright," she called to the juveniles, who resumed speaking at whispers that quickly grew in volume. Isobel once again pressed their shoulders together, a quiet gesture telling Beatrice she wasn't alone. As she holstered the gun, she realized her jaw was clenched far too tightly, and she eased the pressure in degrees. 

"Who is he?" Isobel asked, Pietro having been roped into a discussion by two shyly smiling wolves. 

"He must be friendly," Beatrice replied, though she knew it wasn't an answer. "Sienna is part of the wolves' Alpha Pair. She would never let anyone come into contact with their young unless they were vetted."

"Alright." Isobel's brow furrowed a moment before she shrugged, a minor motion that might've been beaten out of her had she been even a year older. At fourteen when Silence fell, the Arrow conditioning was strong, but was not yet cemented in her. Just as there were differences between Beatrice and Masoud, so too did they appear between Isobel and Beatrice. 

Her roommate strode toward the opposite end of the picnic area, where Aneca, a young rat changeling, was huddled by a tree. Beatrice left her to it as she returned to studying their new 'friend', now that Sienna had dragged him closer to the group at large.

"When did you get back?" Sienna finally let go of the invader with a smile, and Beatrice was able to get a good look at his face. _Pretty._ Definitely a cat, she decided. Not because of the silken lashes framing eyes like dark, unfathomable water, nor for the silken texture given off by his auburn hair in the morning sun. No, it was something in the way he stood; languid and sharp, deceptively calm and observant at once. The cats always had that _slinky_ quality to them, like if you took your eyes away for an instant, you might find them in the trees above your head, waiting to pounce.

"Just today," he assured her with surprising familiarity. Sienna liked to bring her friends here, even when they'd been upgraded out of novice status in the pack, but this one was new. "Would've made you my first stop, but Lucas said Hawke might still go for the throat. Old age doesn't dull the claws, et cetera."

Sienna rolled her eyes and smiled far too sweetly, batting her lashes. "Almost thirty and he still calls you 'baby cat alpha'. I don't _think_ you have legs to stand on."

 _Baby cat alpha._ Well, until they said a name, that would do. Beatrice smiled inwardly.

It looked as though Sienna might make introductions, but they were interrupted as two small shapes came barreling toward them from the Empath cabins. Julian and Roman crashed into this Baby Cat Alpha at full speed, laughing as they all fell to the ground in a heap. The twins were great in that respect, never embarrassed by their desire to show affection, though the grew closer to teenagers each day.

"Alright, alright," the cat said, but he was laughing as well. Since the twins had a habit of speaking over each other, it took Beatrice a moment to pick out what they were saying. Something about not realizing he was coming home, and a name that kept cropping up which sounded suspiciously like _kitten._

Beatrice very nearly had to stop herself from laughing. A cat named kitten? It would certainly be something to behold. 

Though curiosity tickled her thoughts, when she saw Carolina and Bernadetta separate to the corner of an unused table, she took her opportunity. The strange cat man wasn't her concern, anyway. He was only a passing visitor. 

As Beatrice approached, the girls quieted, both looking up at her. "May I sit with you?" Zaira and Aden always stressed that it was important for the juveniles to be able to make decisions whenever possible. So much of their lives had to be controlled, the structure necessary and comforting as they learned to control the violent power within. Things like choosing friends and consenting to interactions whenever possible helped it stay comforting, instead of oppressive. It was an adapted version of the changeling concept of 'skin privileges' on a wider, more encompassing scale. 

Bernadetta and Carolina shared a glance before nodding, and Beatrice took a seat beside the former, sliding the hat from her pocket and pulling it down over the tips of Bernadetta's ears. She grumbled, but allowed it, which meant that her red ears _had_ been chilly. "I always got cold when my hair was that short," Beatrice admitted, causing Bernadetta to meet her eyes. She'd shorn off her long hair just a few weeks ago, disliking how it interfered in combat training. 

"The hats smush my hair," she admitted. "I can't make it look nice again."

They discussed a few solutions, though Beatrice's hair hung straight and heavy no matter what she did to it, so she was unfamiliar with dealing with Bernadetta's curls. Carolina joined in, and eventually, the girls were giggling again. After that, the conversation naturally segued into what she'd hoped; as it turned out, the girls had grown jealous after receiving electronic communication from Keenan and Noor, who had been granted their roaming privileges the past month. Seeing their friends move on without them had caused anxiety, but once assured they were nearing their own freedoms, they relaxed. 

Eventually they were coaxed away by Ben, who Beatrice privately thought would be able to convince just about anyone to go anywhere. She would've gone back to stand on the periphery of the social area had it not been for Sienna and her friend, who approached and sat across from her in a manner that suggested they'd been waiting for an opening. 

"At that rate, you'll run out of hats," Sienna pointed out, admitting they'd been watching her with an amount of social grace Beatrice would likely never possess. Sienna just seemed... self assured. Sometimes it was intimidating, though she'd known her going on six years by now. 

Beatrice only shrugged. "I can buy more."

"That's how they trick you." Despite the words, Sienna was smiling. "Beatrice, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. This is Kit Monaghan; he's with Darkriver, but he's been roaming for a while."

Kit held out a hand to shake. "Thanks for not shooting me earlier." He, too, smiled easily, though Beatrice found herself unable to hold his gaze for long. Everything about him screamed confidence, from his gaze to the strength of his grip, and she'd never done well measuring up to that sort of person.

 _I have no doubt you will be brave,_ she reminded herself, setting her shoulders slightly. She would be brave. She could measure up to anyone, according to her family. 

"Had you been a threat," Beatrice offered, "I would have eliminated you. That's why I'm here." She paused, feeling as though perhaps she had come on too strongly. How did one ease tension? She thought to what she'd seen others do and tried to mimic that herself. _Teasing._ It seemed to be at the forefront of cat and wolf society. "Guarding against 'baby cat alphas.'" 

She didn't smile, but Sienna laughed, throwing her head back and sending her long, ruby hair in a cascade. Kit scowled. "You've got cat ears."

"They are Psy ears, which means I'm always listening."

Sienna was still grinning as she bumped Kit's shoulder with hers. "Maybe Beatrice can help you. The Arrows are connected to different places than we are."

Kit shot her a look before his indigo gaze turned toward Beatrice. "Would you be willing to look into something for me?"

She couldn't help it. No matter how often she pushed herself to be more daring, to make decisions without looking for guidance, she still ultimately sought confirmation for her actions. When she looked helplessly toward Sienna for a moment, she inwardly berated herself. Sienna was like them, but she was a SnowDancer, _not_ an Arrow. She did not entirely share their priorities. She was biased in her friend's favor, and her encouragement meant nothing. Well, almost nothing...

Beatrice trusted her. That was the issue. Her trust had been broken before.

"I might. It depends on the nature of your question."

Kit opened his mouth, but shut it quickly, his eyes following to her elbow. When Beatrice turned in her seat, it was to find Nikolai gazing solemnly at her, his night-sky eyes deep as the abyss of his abilities. A cardinal M-Psy, Nikolai had been brought to the Arrows by Kaleb Krycheck after his violent combat telepathy gift had nearly killed his younger sister. He was one of the rarely gifted Psy with _two_ high-gradient abilities, and while his telepathy wasn't Cardinal level, it was only a point or two behind Beatrice on the Gradient. 

Now, his mouth flickered in a smile. "Can you show me the stars again? I want to show Mirabella."

The wolf cub had no fear as she accompanied him, and Beatrice looked between them, amused. "Are you telling stories about me?"

"Only a little," Nikolai admitted, foot moving in a way that suggested shyness. 

"Momma told me you can only show me stuff inside my head, but that my head has a big shell on it, like a nut." Mirabella seemed excited despite this complication, and Beatrice smiled briefly at her.

"Changeling shields are quite strong, yes. However, my illusion ability affects your ocular reality as well." She thought a moment. "It makes you _see_ a thing, not only think you saw it. Does that make sense?"

Mirabella nodded, as did Nikolai, who always took his lessons to heart. "Now will you?" he asked. "Please?"

Beatrice didn't respond in words. Instead, she held out her hands between herself and the children, and from them grew a globe of blackest night, with bright pinpricks of stars laid out along it. Astronomy was a hobby she'd developed only in the past couple of years, an inadvertent interest thanks to her increasing use of her illusion ability in retrieval. It was something that fascinated small children, distracted them, but Beatrice didn't want it to be merely pretty and distracting. It should be educational and accurate, and what she showed them now was a carefully crafted replica of a small section of the sky.

She spun the illusion in her hands so it faced her charges, settling it before moving her hands away. She didn't _need_ to hold it, not to maintain the illusion, but it made it easier to make a true illusion if you gave it a sense of gravity at first. She pointed out a shape among the stars, allowing them to flare brightly. "This is the constellation Lupus," she told Mirabella. "It's a wolf in the stars."

It took some convincing, of course. Mirabella didn't think it looked much like a wolf, so it was up to Beatrice to explain the ancient traditions and historical tales. It was maybe fifteen minutes of time, but it satisfied the young minds that were her captive audience, until she let the image fade away.

"Thank you Beatrice." Nikolai always said things with such gravity, Beatrice couldn't help but match him as she responded. Mirabella thanked her as well, and then the two were off.

When she looked back, Sienna had moved away, and she was alone with an amused cat. Beatrice swallowed reflexively. She hadn't expected the odd sense of abandonment she would feel, alone with someone... like that. Her heartbeat fought with her sense of control.

"My apologies," Beatrice offered, suddenly conscious of how stiffly she sat. Had she been like this all day? Surely not. It was in reaction to something he was doing, though she could find little rational justification. He was only looking at her, after all. 

He leaned back a little with a grin, stretching his arms above his head a moment. His sweater crinkled around his neck like his eyes did at the corners, and it was strangely endearing. She found herself coveting the sweater. It seemed soft, after all. The cats tended to like soft or luxurious fabrics when they got a little older and weren't constantly ruining it with their shifting. 

Even as she stared at the sweater as it fell back into place, he was speaking: "No need. Getting roped into cub games is part of the deal."

"What deal?" She didn't even mean to ask, but she _was_ curious.

"Being a pack." His eyes connected with hers, and she tried to hold the connection, managing a second longer before she was looking at the whorls of the table between them. 

She recalled Aden mentioning that the changelings viewed them as similar to a pack. In many respects, they were modeling their structure with changelings in mind, though it had needed modification. Outwardly, Beatrice merely shrugged. She was good at falling into a territory most would label 'non-committal'.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, she followed the path of an ant as it worked its way from one end of the table to the other. "You had a question for me?"

"Right." She wasn't watching him, resolutely staring at that little ant, but she could detect a hint of sheepishness in his tone. "I know it's weird, but Lucas mentioned one of you might be able to help me. I've been in contact with a pack near Canaan Valley. They tell me there's a settlement in the valley itself that's been growing over the past few years, but they've never actually seen anyone or anything coming in and out. I wondered if it might be something that's come up in Arrow chatter."

Beatrice stiffened the more he spoke. She took a moment to carefully parcel out a response, word by word, until it was neutral in her mind. "I'll ask. I don't have any knowledge of it."

When she chanced a look at his face, she felt a bit like a cornered animal. He'd paused too long. Did he think she was lying?

 _No._ "Thank you." A nod from this cat who made every hair on the nape of her neck stand on end. "Should I meet you again here? I'm in the city for a few weeks at least."

"Yes." Beatrice got to her feet, spotting Nerida over Kit's shoulder. Their time was almost up. "I oversee the various juvenile groups daily. You can find me here whenever we next have a meeting." A pause, flicking through her calendar on the PsyNet. "I believe the next supervised 'playdate' occurs Wednesday."

She had to look at him, then. It wasn't polite to look into the distance while saying goodbye. The moment she did, she wanted to lower her gaze again, those deep blue eyes unnerving her. It was an unfamiliar sensation, and one she was sure she disliked. "I'll see you Wednesday," he said. From her discomfort, she could imagine it sounded like a threat.

Or perhaps a promise.

Kit waited until they'd gotten the cubs and pups respectively home before he asked Sienna about Beatrice. He wasn't sure what put him on edge about her; she was, by all he'd observed, polite, plain, and quiet. It was difficult to get her to meet his eyes, his dominance recognizable even by Psy instincts, yet when she had...

His cat paced beneath his skin.

Sienna raised one ruby-red brow. "Beatrice? She keeps to herself. I know she lives in a shared unit with Isobel, but of the two, she's far quieter." Sienna considered him, her gaze only gaining in potency since the last time they'd been face to face. She was a woman where before she'd been a girl, and the effect was slightly jarring. 

"What?" he asked, aware she was scrutinizing him somehow.

Sienna shrugged. "So? Did she agree to help you?"

Kit squinted out her, but it wasn't worth pressing yet. "She said she'd ask. It was weird, though."

"What about it?"

"She seemed... tense." 

Sienna considered it. "The Arrows are a reserved group. They don't trust easily, and while Lucas has earned their trust, they don't apply that trust universally on a pack level." 

He supposed that made sense. In fact, it was quite rational. What _wasn't_ rational was how beat up he still felt over her lack of faith in him. 

Kit reminded himself that, in spite of what he might want, people didn't inherently sense his nature. No one could look at him once and believe he was trustworthy. If it made the cat prowl beneath his skin, well, he could live with that.

"I think I make her uncomfortable." He hadn't been cognizant of hit exactly, but the moment he said it aloud, he knew it to be true. 

She laughed a little at that, though it didn't make him feel particularly funny. "You take up a lot of space when you want to. All she can do is accommodate."

Kit scowled. "I'm not making anyone shrink around me, Sin."

"Of course not." Her hand briefly touched his shoulder. "Sometimes, though, it's unconscious."

They at last reached her vehicle, which Sienna unlocked with her thumbprint. "Sorry I can't stay longer. Hawke has something planned."

The pang of loneliness he felt didn't stem from it being Sienna and Hawke that were having a date night. While he'd once had feelings for her, he'd always known, deep down, that she was meant for someone else. That lonely feeling had far more to do with his cat's instincts, to build a pack of its own and find a mate to steady him. He wanted what Hawke had for himself, in spite of knowing that Hawke had waited more years than he had to find it, and under harsher circumstances. 

Swallowing it down, he wrapped her in a hug, holding tight a moment before relinquishing her to the drive up to the Sierra Nevada. "I'll be here at least a week," he promised.

"I'll hold you to it." 

It felt strange every time she reached out to Zaira. It wasn't that she was scary, because Beatrice had long since grown out of that notion. It... humbled her, maybe, that someone as powerful as Zaira would keep a telepathic channel open to her. Between their two high-gradient abilities in this field, they were able to communicate over almost impossible distances, and there was never truly a time Zaira felt out of reach.

In return for that trust, Beatrice only used that telepathic walkway when it was urgent.

_Zaira? Am I disturbing you?_

_Unfortunately, no. Stake-outs are boring._

Beatrice was free with her mental laughter. While Silence had fallen almost a decade ago, the Psy still kept some of their control, some of their remoteness. The Arrows took this even further, reminding people they could be scary if they had to be. With each other, however, they could let down some of those walls.

Zaira was the first person Beatrice could remember ever holding her. There was no reason to pretend she didn't feel, for good or for ill, with her.

_What's going on?_

Here was the hard part. Giving someone bad news was never easy. _I believe a small changeling pack has taken notice of the Valley. Not in a threatening manner, but out of curiosity._

There was a pause while Zaira collected her thoughts. _The cats in Monongahela?_

_I wasn't given much information, but they are cat changelings. What name is the neighboring pack?_

_SunCreek. They've never had the kind of hold on the area that DarkRiver or SnowDancer does, as it's much more rural. Are they looking to expand their power base?_

_I don't know. I wasn't given much to go on. One of the DarkRiver cats was roaming in this area and was asked to pass on an inquiry. There was no indication of heightened suspicion._

_But?_

Zaira was too good at reading her mental tone. Out loud, Beatrice sighed. _But I was tense when he asked, so I doubt he'd believe me if I said we had no information. The cats' heightened senses make them adept at judging lies from truth, even in an Arrow._

_That complicates matters._

_What would you recommend?_

There was a pause in which Zaira thought it over. Beatrice grabbed a flavored nutrient drink from the fridge and leaned against the counter, sipping slowly to distract herself. It was hours since she'd met Kit Monaghan, and her pulse still felt a little fast, her feelings just a tad off-kilter. She had never felt comfortable under scrutiny, and Kit had looked at her... strangely. For a prolonged period of time.

_I've briefed Aden. He'll speak to Lucas Hunter. We've been thinking about allowing him, Remi, and Miane to know the location of the Valley already._

_Alright. I'm sorry, Zaira. I should have controlled my reaction._

Beatrice swallowed hard. No matter how many years passed, mistakes made her body think _run._ Adrenaline pumped uselessly into her system as she waited for an ax she knew would never fall.

_You have nothing to apologize for. Are you on assignment late tomorrow?_

_No. I'm done with lessons after five._

_Come home for dinner._

_Yes, sir._

Zaira's mental tone was sharp and exasperated. _Beatrice._

The corners of her mouth ticked upward. _I'll see you tomorrow, Zaira, sir._

Relief flooded her now that the situation was in hand. She didn't feel comfortable handling such important information on her own, but Zaira and Aden would handle it. She'd never known them to fail before. 

Whatever they decided, she was confident it would be the right choice.

It was strange to be home. Strange that it might not _be_ home much longer. He'd always known that he might have to leave DarkRiver, ever since Lachlan sat him down as a boy and explained what they all could scent on him: an alpha leopard in waiting. That cat had been content to stay home as a boy, and likely would've continued to be so under Lucas, someone who'd taken care of him for a long time and who he would always, ultimately, bow his head to if necessary. But the _yearning_ wouldn't ever go away, and with enough exposure, their cats might start to clash whether they wanted to or not. Some part of them was simply too much the animal to put that feeling aside, no matter how much love lay between them.

Now, as he saw Lucas' name flash over his comm screen, he felt a mix of joy and terrible sadness. To be so close yet to know that his heart lay so far away... it wasn't a burden he would wish on anyone else. Even being in as good a position as Kit was, with a steady pack willing to take him on and the ear of the most powerful Alpha in the world when he needed him, he still felt that stubborn weight.

"Hey, Luc."

The ability to call him Luc had come naturally, after many anxious phone-calls over the years. It was a privilege that Kit would always be proud of. 

" _Hey. You got a moment? You should come over. Naya asked me about you twice already._ "

Kit laughed, waving as a bright-eyed eight year old appeared over her daddy's shoulder. " _You promised you'd tell me about cliff-jumping!_ "

Lucas stuck a hand over Naya's mouth as, in the background, Sascha called out, " _About what exactly?_ "

Groaning, Kit fell back against the cushions of RIna's couch. "Naya Papaya, don't get me in trouble!"

Naya tried to talk through Lucas' hand, but he didn't let go, eyes twinkling. " _Better get here soon and clear your name._ "

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming."

Hanging up, he tossed the comm onto the coffee table. Rina was on a late sentry duty, so there was no one to tell he was leaving, but he left her a note not to wait up just in case. 

The run to Luc's place was short, but these days, he was rapidly running out of chances to run through DarkRiver territory. Rather than running in human form, he decided to enjoy himself, stripping down and letting the agony and ecstasy of the change come over him. He shook out his fur and gathered his jeans and shirt in careful teeth before slinking out of the house, setting out at a light pace toward the home of his Alpha pair. 

It ended up being _too_ short, but it was also exhilarating to be back in the trees he'd known his whole life. Stopping short of the aerie, he shifted and dressed, claws slicing out to climb up to their home. Hauling himself onto the deck, he was almost immediately knocked down again by Naya. Rina often joked she'd been held too much as a child; she was still huggy, even at the stage when so many children start to be embarrassed by the elders in their lives.

He _did_ tell Naya about cliff-jumping, and white-river rafting, and bungee jumping, and sky-diving. He also managed to put away two huge slices of chocolate cake, which Sascha claimed was a coming home present. By the time they hit Naya's bedtime, he was almost dozing on the couch himself.

Kit startled awake when Luc's weight hit the couch next to him, Sascha staying behind to read to Naya. "What's up?" he asked, a yawn fighting its way from his throat.

"I got a call from Aden Kai today. You asked one of the Arrows to look into something?"

"Something for SunCreek. There's a big compound out near them that seems Psy, but they can't get a read on anyone going in or out. They think there's at least one teleport-capable Psy living there, but beyond that, they're not sure. They asked me to check in on it since I was coming home and you have so many Psy contacts." He was actually surprised it had reached Aden; he hadn't thought Beatrice would've been high level enough to escalate like that. Then again, even Alphas did their duty watching the kids sometimes. It wouldn't surprise him to know her rank was high with how often Sienna said she worked with juveniles.

She just seemed so _quiet_. Mousy, even.

"The answer has strings. Are you ready for them?"

Kit nodded. If he was going to begin training to take over as Alpha of SunCreek, he needed to work as hard on their behalf as he would for DarkRiver.

"It's classified." Kit deflated. All that for _nothing?_ "However," Lucas amended, "if you were willing to represent SunCreek, there is a way for them to gain a powerful ally in that region. Have they given you those rights?"

This was not how he'd planned this conversation. He had still been working on his speech to Lucas; it had always been his original plan to train longer under him, after all. But SunCreek... he liked Monongahela, and he liked Helene, their alpha. He'd felt _right_ there somehow, fitting in like a missing puzzle piece. It didn't detract from his place at DarkRiver, but Lucas was a young alpha, and ultimately, it would always have been Kit who would have to leave.

"They've made the offer. If I accept, I'll be apprenticed to Helene the moment I go back."

Luc clapped Kit on the shoulder, his face at once melancholy and joyful. "I'm proud of you, Kit. You've grown into a fine man."

In spite of his age and status, Kit felt tears gather in his eyes unexpectedly. He didn't do Lucas the dishonor of wiping them away, and they didn't last long, but they were badges of his emotions. They told the story of what Lucas's pride meant to him, and it meant a lot.

"Anyway," Kit said, "Once she swears me in, I'll have those kind of rights, won't I?"

"You will." Lucas studied his face for a long moment, searching for something unknown. "The Psy in Canaan Valley _are_ the Arrows. Do you understand now?"

Kit took a moment to digest that. "Shit."

Lucas laughed. "Exactly."

"What do I do? Why did they let you tell me? Why did they tell _you?_ "

"We're allies." Lucas shrugged. "After everything with the Consortium, we more than earned each others' trust. Arrows trust harder than most people, but there's a few of us they're planning on telling, in case they need aid in an emergency. They asked me to use my own discretion within the pack on a need-to-know basis, and to extend an offer to you."

"Which is?" 

"They want to meet you themselves. They asked that you stay with them a while, interact with them. Arrows aren't typically seen as feeling in the same way we do, even now. If you agree, and you coexist well together, they'll offer a formal alliance to SunCreek."

An alliance with the Arrows? It would be a massive boon to SunCreek, a small, rural pack with no strong allies outside of the Trinity Accords themselves. There was no way Kit could turn this down and still call himself an option to succeed their Alpha, no matter how daunting it sounded.

"That's it? Just staying over?"

"That's it."

"That's too good. Is there a catch?"

Lucas shook his head. "From what I can tell, Aden wants this to line up. Uniting changelings and Psy in the same area helps the entire state's stability. It also means that you both could in theory widen your patrols, the way we do with SnowDancer, coming to each others' aid when you need to. It helps both of you."

"It helps SunCreek far more."

"Well, Aden's no bleeding heart, but he's not made of stone, either. I'm assuming he thought it over and decided this was the best for everyone."

There wasn't _really_ a choice. There was, but it wasn't one he could make. The only way through would be forward, and Kit had never backed down from anything he wanted. He wouldn't start now.

"Tell them I'm game."

Beatrice couldn't believe they were actually doing this. As she waited for Vasic to return with Kit Monahan, she still hoped this was some kind of joke. Who would put her in charge of something like this?

Zaira, of course. She overestimated her abilities. Hadn't it been plastered over her file that she didn't do well in solo missions?

 _It's not solo,_ Aden had pointed out over dinner three nights previous. _Technically you have a partner._

She'd mentioned the part where partners weren't also tasked with evaluating each other, but no one had listened. Lorelei had only laughed and asked to borrow her blue scarf, which wasn't helpful in the least. 

Were she a human or changeling, she might have tapped her foot in impatience. As it was, she merely stood with her arms crossed, blowing steam into cold air that was growing closer to winter by the minute. They'd already seen snow in the surrounding mountains, and when it hit the Valley, there would be ample opportunity for the telekinetics to practice with it. 

Vasic appeared in front of her exactly thirty seconds later, Kit at his side. He was just as irritatingly pretty as she remembered, all slinky muscles and kind eyes. She refused to let it unsettle her today.

Today, she would be on _task._

"Hello again," he said as he brushed a hand through his hair. "Are you my chaperone?"

He had a bag slung over his shoulder that didn't seem to weigh him down in the least, though it was obviously packed tight with essentials. She nodded, turning to nod at Vasic before remembering what Aden and Zaira had outlined for her.

_We are not treating him as an outsider. To show him what we're like, we need to act as we would with no one watching._

Before she could chicken out, she stepped forward and Vasic pulled her into a hug. While they were technically separate family units, Vasic and Ivy and Tavish and Rabbit were considered honorary members of theirs, and vice-versa. When she didn't have to put her brave face on, she always hugged them goodbye, even Rabbit with his wet nose and wetter kisses. 

_You'll be alright._

Vasic's mental voice was icy chill with the barest hint of warmth. It often reminded her of Nerida's, even after so many years with a mate of his own.

 _I will,_ she confirmed.

_But you'll call any of us if you aren't._

_I will._

Vasic let her go and turned to Kit, who was watching with a curated, blank look. Beatrice almost wanted to dare him to say something, shocking herself with the bold instinct. 

"Beatrice will show you to your quarters and around the compound. If she's pulled away for a mission early, ask for Cristobel." 

Vasic was gone with a nod, and Kit blinked before turning to her. "Does he always leave that abruptly?"

She should've said something polite. Something that would make him feel welcome. Beatrice didn't push, after all. Her inability to hold his gaze still holding, she shrugged instead, blowing warm air onto her hands and rubbing them together. "Not with me."

Startled at the burst of sound, it took her a moment to realize that Kit was laughing. "Put me in my place, huh? I see how it is."

When he laughed, those ocean-blue eyes seemed to crackle with electricity. Beatrice felt a zing down her spine as she looked away, turning fully to lead him into the compound. "Sorry," she said after a lifetime of practice.

"For what?"

She wanted to turn and look at his expression, but thought it might make him laugh at her and refrained. She wasn't even sure what the answer was. After a moment of delicate silence, she moved on, pretending it hadn't actually happened as if that would help her forget it. 

"Let's get you to your quarters so you don't have to continue carrying that."

"This?" Now she was beginning to regret walking ahead, rather than at his side. Hearing his voice when she couldn't see him made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. It was almost as though she could feel his gaze there, her hair swept up in a boring but efficient bun atop her head. "It's not heavy," he continued.

"Regardless of your physical capabilities, it's cumbersome for what we'll be doing."

"A tour?"

Beatrice approached the door to one of the empty units and whirled, eyes landing on his chest. It rose and fell with even breaths; no exertion shown, of course. He wasn't lying. 

"It's a hands on experience. You will be expected to pitch in during your time with us."

He put a hand on his heart. "You're killing me, Beatrice. You think I planned to laze around in a tree all day?"

She'd never actually thought of herself as short before. Zaira was shorter than her, after all, and she could take down anyone at any time. Her eyes being eye-level with his heart, however, meant that Kit Monahan was certainly tall. Why did that seem important at the moment?

"Beatrice?"

Blinking, she realized she'd been caught and focused on unlocking the door. It _was_ safer not to face him. "I don't know your disposition. Or anything about you, in fact."

She opened the door and stepped inside, doing a quick walk-around to make sure everything was in order. These smaller spaces were rather confined, but they were also solitary, and for those whose abilities acted up in their sleep at times, that privacy was important. Arrow juveniles who hadn't been trained under Silence had a much harder time controlling their nightmares. It was only lucky they'd managed to move someone out the previous week, as the solo units were in fairly high demand. 

"We can remedy that," Kit said, depositing the backpack near the door and letting it fall shut. Beatrice privately thought this was a mistake; he was clearly not meant to fit in enclosed spaces with other people. Why else would she feel so claustrophobic all of the sudden?

Beatrice ignored the comment, pointing out the features of the unit with bare efficiency. "You're on the outskirts of the area reserved for recently promoted Arrows; those just out of training. Everyone knows you're coming, so some of them might be curious. I recommend talking to them to understand more about how we live here."

"How about I talk to you? You live here, too."

"Why would you?" Beatrice asked, the question sliding from her mouth before she could control it. Something about this situation was breaking her habits, whether it was the closeness of an unfamiliar person or simply Kit's specific personality. She shut down her expression, hoping he didn't catch the genuine incredulity.

When she finally looked at him, he was leaning against the dresser, seemingly waiting for her attention to return to him. "Why wouldn't I?"

Once again, she didn't have an answer. She opened her mouth and closed it again. After it was clear he wouldn't get an answer, he stepped half a foot closer. Beatrice marveled at how much space he managed to take up, keenly aware, as she often was, of how easily she shrank in comparison.

"I'm curious about you. It's not every day the Arrows invite someone home for dinner. I know it came through Aden, but I can't help thinking you were a part of the reason why."

She looked up, focusing on his mouth rather than his eyes. It would give the illusion of looking at him without forcing her to hold onto that crackling electricity again. The truth was, Aden _had_ asked her opinion, since she was the only Arrow who'd spent much of any time with Kit. He'd also asked several others, but it was Beatrice who'd seen him most recently and had the least bias toward him.

"I haven't been lead astray before by trusting Sienna's judgment. Will you honor that?"

"On one condition."

Beatrice sucked in a breath. Had she been wrong to trust him this far? 

Kit's fingertips touched her shoulder, warm in spite of the layers between them. She started, looking down at the floor again. 

"What is it?"

Slowly, his fingertips slid across the fabric of her coat until he was, just barely, holding onto her arm. "Look at me."

"I am." Her eyes traced the veins in his arm. She hadn't thought it was strange to see him turn up in a simple t-shirt; changelings didn't feel the cold the way she would. It was having that skin so close that made her focus on it. Touching her. Well, almost touching her. 

"Not for real."

Were changelings meant to be so perceptive? It would be demeaning for her to have judged on race, but it was more about the difference between an Arrow and a being outside of them. Most people didn't feel the need for hyper-awareness in their daily lives. Was she so obviously avoiding him?

Swallowing hard, Beatrice trailed her gaze up to his face. Up close, the fan of his eyelashes was almost obscene. She wished for a moment that she could trade with him, though she wasn't necessarily cosmetics obsessed the way some of the younger Arrow trainees were on their off hours. "There you are," he said, and his gaze was warm. 

He dropped her arm, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing. "That's it?" she asked.

Kit shrugged. "I wouldn't mind if you did it more often."

Already, Beatrice's eyes were skittering to the side, out the window, where she could see two Arrows side by side, heads bent together. The image had never before filled her with a pang, but it did now, an unidentified hollow feeling settling at the pit of her stomach. "I find you intimidating."

The moment she said it, she wanted to take it back, but it was too late. She couldn't see his face to gauge his reaction, but she was positive it wasn't anything good.

"I'll work on it."

There was no easy way for her to leave without at least brushing past him, so she remained in spite of the instinct to bolt. "Really? My research indicated dominant changelings find it difficult to make concessions. As a future Alpha, I would imagine that instinct is increased tenfold."

Kit leaned down a moment, voice quieter. "Maybe you should try some practical study."

He stepped back after that, already attempting to be somewhat accommodating. In deference to that, Beatrice made up her mind as well. "Maybe I will."

"Then it looks like we have a deal." When she looked at his mouth, he was smiling.

The tour would've been more interesting had it been given by another subject. No, that wasn't right; the _compound_ would've piqued his interest with another person in the lead. As it was, he spent far more time focusing on the quiet, distinct body language of his host than on what he was supposed to be learning.

Had he found her mousy just a few days ago? Kit from earlier in the week must have been an idiot, because what he'd mistaken for mousiness was something far more fluid. Here, in Beatrice's element, she came to life, though not in the ways cats traditionally found exciting.

She didn't flame at him with eyes flashing and claws out when she was annoyed, but he was used to that. Prepared for it, even, after so many years of living with Rina. Instead, Beatrice's claws came in the form of questions and walls, avoidance and distraction. If she was upset by something he said, she threw him off guard without ever having raised her voice, distracting him with new questions until he forgot what he'd been talking about before. It had taken willpower not to follow some of those false trails, but as the day continued, he thought he had her somewhat figured out.

Beatrice Gault was a watcher. Everyone knew her by name, came over to say hi when she called, and reacted pleasantly to being around her. Yet there were no eyes that lit up, no scornful looks, just... pleasantry. As she walked him through the many, many areas of the Compound, she seemed to flow through as easily as a river would flow through jagged stones. It was clear that she was made to fit, not just here but anywhere. 

He'd never seen that kind of strength before, and it was fascinating. 

Even the most gentle-hearted submissive in any pack was vibrant in their own way. Beatrice... she almost tried to be dull, to let others speak over her while she listened with clear intent. She watched, waited, and heard what people had to say without ever expecting them to take on that burden in return. The easiest way to see it was with the children; unlike the adults, they bloomed around her, delighted to see her and babbling about anything and nothing at all the moment they could run over. The only difference between them and wild changeling children was that they made sure to ask permission from their instructors and chaperones 100 percent of the time.

"Are they all so well-behaved?"

"Mostly," Beatrice said with a nod. "The youngest have no training under Silence, but we've modified some of the strictures to fit our goals."

"Why?" Silence, to Kit, was abhorrent. He understood what Sascha said about how some people _needed_ what Silence had given the Psy, but he didn't _really_ get it. 

Beatrice led him into a fairly empty commissary, cleared out by some schedule he hadn't had mapped out for him just yet. Since there was little obstacle, they were able to grab food easily, and he found some of Sascha's favorite chocolate-flavored nutrient bars on a top shelf. 

She waited until they sat down before continuing, warm nutrient drink in hand. "Before Silence, those like us had no place to go. The most dangerous abilities often resulted in a death sentence, and for many, they went gladly, knowing they were keeping others safe from their power. It was impossible for them to control it. They hadn't developed the tools."

"And your only tools are cutting off emotion?"

"No," Beatrice said vehemently enough for Kit to take notice. It was the first time she'd sounded firm about something. "That's not what we're doing. What we teach is how to compartmentalize it. Especially in the early days, when we're separated from our parents, the structure is necessary to deal with the burden."

Something occurred to Kit that hadn't earlier, when they'd visited the juveniles and he'd been shown the learning center. "All of you are separated from your parents?" He could still remember the devastation of losing both his parents, the nightmares he'd had in the wake of that loss. To lose them so young... it was unimaginably painful in theory, and he was sure it would be worse in practice.

She scrutinized him, and he was sure his disgust was evident. "It may be abhorrent to you, but it's the only solution."

"Making orphans out of your children?"

"Giving them a _safe home._ " Beatrice took a sip of her drink. Kit thought it might have been a way for her to calm down. "You have to understand that a child right for the Arrow program can never be happy at home with their family. Not unless they're of Designation X, in which case it's best that the entire family be moved into the Valley."

Kit only barely understood Sienna's rare designation, but he knew that Walker was the reason she was able to remain stable. His mind did something to her energy that made it controllable, and it was because they were connected by emotional bonds of family that they were able to do so. "Why separate the rest, then?" 

Beatrice's eyes met his for a brief moment. He felt a charge run between them, as he always did when she really looked at him. _That_ was what had made the cat pace that first day, though it had taken him a while to realize it. 

"Imagine that... two deer changelings have a child. They think this child will be a deer, like them, but instead, they find that they've created a wolf pup. They love this wolf pup as best as they are able, and they try to take care of it, but it frightens them to see the child grow. They don't know how to prepare this child for the world, and the child has outgrown their ability to protect it at a very young age. One day, the child is playing and jumps from a high shelf while shifted, landing on their mother's shoulder. The child's claws sink into their mother's neck, and she bleeds out. The child is devastated, and their father, though he loves them very much, decides to find the closest wolf pack and ask them to adopt this child, for he cannot take care of it. The child forever lives with the knowledge that they've killed their mother, believing themselves a monster." She'd never spoken this long. He found her voice to be almost soothing, though the story horrified him.

Something in his expression satisfied her, because when she continued, she'd softened slightly. "This is what happens to a significant portion of Arrows as children. These violent abilities manifest, and our caretakers have no capability of helping us if their ability doesn't match ours. Many of our children — " she paused, tripping over her words for a moment, " — many of _us_ have nearly killed our parents or siblings. Some powers, when they come online, cause fatalities. We are working to prevent that." 

Her voice wavered at the end, and without thinking, Kit reached out to cover one of her hands with his own. It was the first time he'd touched her skin, and his leopard rumbled in his chest. He fought the instinct to hold on tighter. "I understand," he admitted. While he disliked that it had to be done, her story made him realize that they _all_ must wish there was a better way. "I'll try not to be such an asshole next time."

Her brow furrowed. "Why?"

"I came here to learn about you, not judge you. Day one and I'm not living up to it."

Beatrice pressed her lips together tightly before exhaling. "I believe you."

"Good." He still hadn't let go of her hand, but he didn't really want to. Cat-like of him, but he wanted to see how she'd extricate herself if he pushed.

She looked down at their hands, giving him an excellent opportunity to study her face. Her features were so soft he had half a mind to drag his thumb across her cheek. Her reaction, at least, would give him a kick.

"You did this to comfort me?"

It was almost a murmur, but he caught it. He wondered if she'd even meant to say it out loud.

"Well, like I said, I was an asshole."

She stared a moment longer, then tentatively set her other hand on top of his. Her fingers were a little chilly, and they seemed impossibly delicate resting atop his. "Any ally of ours should care about our children. You're doing well."

Before he could respond she'd pulled away, out of her chair and gesturing over her shoulder for him to follow along. Lunchtime was over; he followed her out of the building, hand on the back of his neck so he wouldn't just stare at it like an idiot and run into something.

Beatrice was surprised by how easily Kit settled into life within the Valley. After discussing with Lucas, Aden had set him to a multitude of training duties, from changeling attack tactics to hunting in the forested areas surrounding the Valley and leading into it. After that first day he seemed to return each morning with an open mind, asking questions with a readiness that surprised her. Zaira had mentioned that he was apprentice to the SunCreek Alpha now, but he showed no hubris or over-inflated pride. In fact, it seemed to her as though he treated Aden as Alpha during his stay.

"Is it difficult?" she wondered during one of his evening visits. For some reason, despite speaking with plenty of Arrows each day, he still wanted to hear her explain things. In return, she got to ask these questions; the more he came over, the more she found her questions branching out into truly interesting concepts. Rather than playing it safe, she began to... push. 

"What?"

"Bowing your head when it's clear you want to lead." 

He tilted his head in that distinctly _feline_ manner. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well..." To cover her thoughts, she shoved a strawberry in her mouth. It was sweet but tart, a burst of flavor that was still difficult to handle at times. He wasn't the most patient person on a daily basis, but he had surprising amounts in moments like these, when it was difficult for her to put together her thoughts in a manner most coherent. "No. That's why I wondered. I was expecting to see it more often."

Kit's crooked smile flashed in her direction, making her heart _thump_ with vehemence. "You should've seen me as a juvenile. Once, Cory and I set up our own 'packs' of friends; it turned violent pretty fast."

Cory was a name that came up often in Kit's stories. She would never have expected them to go through a bout of true violence, and her expression must've reflected it, because he laughed at her. "Yeah, that's the right reaction. Lucas tore us a new one when he found out."

"He punished you?"

"Yeah. He had to. We were acting pretty horribly. He actually asked us if we wanted to leave the Pack, since we were so interested in forming our own."

Beatrice's eyes were wide. "But that's not how Packs work. Right? They are a family no matter what."

"Of course." Kit nodded. "That was the point. It was so horrible to be asked, we all knew we fucked up real bad."

The thought of Zaira and Aden asking if Beatrice would like to leave made her stomach turn. "I can't imagine," she whispered, and Kit shook his head.

"I was young and stupid. It's difficult with these instincts clawing at me all the time, and that was when they really started coming to the fore. I wanted control."

It was the perfect moment to reveal her own troubled youth, but she was too anxious, and nothing came to her mind. Fearing Kit would sense the emotion somehow, she continued to focus on him. "You seem very in control now."

His mouth quirked at that, as though she'd said something funny. "Do I?"

Beatrice nodded.

"You should've seen me last month, stressing about telling Luc I didn't want to be a Sentinel. I'd always thought that was my future, training under him to take over if DarkRiver ever needed it. I never thought..." He trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes. "Well, I was surprised to find SunCreek at all. Surprised to feel like I belonged with them, but it just _fit._ It's not the same as DarkRiver, and it wouldn't ever compare to them, but it's different in a way that suits me."

"What changed? From then to now."

"The decision." Kit stole a blueberry from her plate and popped it into his mouth. She rolled her eyes; she wasn't going to finish the plate, but he didn't even _ask_. Rude. "Now that everyone knows and my cat's settled into the choice, it's a lot easier."

"Won't you miss them, though?" Beatrice still felt a bit queasy, thinking about being separated from her family. Especially the thought of living across the country. Vasic could always come get her, of course, but if something happened to them and she wasn't there...

Kit's face grew serious. "Of course I will. I do," he corrected, clearing his throat. "I miss all of them. I don't think I'll ever stop."

"Then how could you do it?" Beatrice's heart dropped as she realized how that sounded; how _accusatory_ her language was. "I'm sorry. It's not — I just can't imagine being that strong."

Tension that had risen between them eased in an instant, and Kit's eyes softened at the corners. "Strength comes in a lot of forms. I'm not sure how I can, except to say that I always had a feeling this might be my future. Luc is a young alpha, which means his successor will have to be far younger than I am to have a chance to properly stretch their muscles. I know I could've stayed as a Sentinel and been happy at home, but Luc would never ask me to. He wants more for me than that." Kit swallowed, and she wondered if he was in pain. "He's a good alpha." 

He went for another berry from her plate, likely trying to diffuse their difficult topic, but Beatrice caught his hand and held it in hers. "You will be, too," she promised. She didn't know too much about what it took to be a changeling alpha, but she had a firm belief in Kit Monahan. She wasn't sure anyone could spend even this little time with him and think anything different.

Kit stared at their connected hands for a moment. "Are you using my tricks against me?"

Beatrice turned his hand over so it would be a proper hold, squeezing once. "Imitation is a learning tool. It's how we first learned to 'act Silent', before the conditioning tied our emotional responses to pain. We tried to act like our parents did."

"You're using your Silence tricks on me. I see."

"Are you mad?" She searched his face for an answer, but it was difficult to read. 

"No." He squeezed her hand back, and Beatrice felt warmth spread from that connection. "I talked with Sascha about it after you told me about the Arrow kids. I talked to them about it, too. It's... brave. Taking the good parts and figuring out the bad."

 _I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU WILL BE BRAVE._ It wasn't an adjective she associated with herself innately, but that was two people she... valued highly, now, that had mentioned it. 

Beatrice smiled.

She probably shouldn't have entertained his new interest in cooking, but each time he came over with some new, wild concoction he'd put together from the fairly simple commissary ingredients on hand, she found herself letting him in. The food wasn't always excellent, but it was new and interesting.

Not until Kit came into her life had she realized she _liked_ interesting.

More than that, she liked the way he talked to her. After the fifth night in a row she'd absconded to his tiny domicile, Isobel was waiting when she got back. Beatrice shut the door silently, slowing to a stop when she got to her room and saw Isobel sitting on the bed.

"Good evening," she greeted, pulling her scarf down from her neck. "I missed you. How was your mission?"

Isobel waved a hand. "Boring. It was a false alarm, anyway. Of the anchors I've seen, he's one of the more stable. It seems someone reported him based on jealousy over a new relationship." She grinned. "We didn't have to deal with _that_ in Silence."

"No, but it looks like you had fun."

"Well, for boring, it _was_ a bit dramatic. But I think I'm not the only one who had fun." She raised a brow. "Masoud says you've been coming back late every night."

Beatrice mirrored her expression. "Masoud has been keeping an eye on me?"

"We all keep an eye on you, Beatrice."

A frown crept across her features. "I can take care of myself." _I am not weak,_ she reminded herself.

Isobel stood, crossing the room to catch her by the shoulders. "I didn't mean it like _that._ We care about you, okay? Even grumpy Masoud. Will you sit with me?"

Stiffness easing from her shoulders, Beatrice nodded, moving forward to sit cross-legged across from her closest friend.

"So."

"So."

It only took a moment for both of them to break into laughter. There was a freedom with Isobel that Beatrice had found in no one since. No one until now, with Kit. Though she didn't laugh as openly as she would here, she knew she was moving in that direction, into territory both familiar and unknown. 

Beatrice covered her face in her hands, but there was no mistaking the amusement in Isobel's voice: " _So._ It hasn't escaped my notice that your behavior grew irregular when Kit Monahan arrived. Are you being courted by a cat?"

Her hands fell into her lap in shock. "Of course not!"

"Really?"

"No." Beatrice thought about it for a moment, not wanting to mistake her gut feeling for truth. "No. I would know, wouldn't I?"

Isobel's brow furrowed. "How should I know? Neither of us have ever been courted."

"Good point." She considered it, grabbing her tablet from the charging station on her bedside table. "Let's look at the evidence, then. See who's right."

Isobel crawled to where she could look over Beatrice's shoulder. Her shampoo smelled like cinnamon sugar; Kit had tried to get her to eat a cinnamon roll on his second day there, but she could only manage a bite before needing to wash it down with a large amount of water. Some things were _too_ rich, _too_ sweet. 

Pulling up a simple note, she typed out _many things remind me of him_ before she could over-think it. Isobel tilted her head, chin gently resting on her shoulder. "Is that more about him courting you, or more about how you feel?"

"I think it's the desired effect."

Humming, she added an addendum - _maybe._

They spent about an hour playing with the list, until it sat before them fully formed and disturbingly conclusive. Beatrice tilted it, then turned it face down, as if that would let her stop seeing it.

**_EVIDENCE OF COURTSHIP -_ **

_\- things remind me of him (maybe intentional)_

_\- cooks for me_

_\- pushes me to try new things with him (important: with him)_

_\- asks questions about me_

_\- requests that I educate him despite many available Arrows_

_\- requests I "really look at him"_

_\- seeks me out each night regardless of where I am or whether we had plans_

**_EVIDENCE AGAINST COURTSHIP -_ **

_\- no mention of 'mating' bond, though little evidence on what that actually entails?_

_\- no request for skin privileges more than simple hand holding_

_\- has plans to leave soon_

_\- has not mentioned future visitation_

_\- unclear on difference between friendship and courtship behavior for changelings?_

_\- from research, changeling alphas tend to like mates who challenge them often_

_\- no signs of possessiveness_

Seven for, seven against. It was an impasse. Well, there had been more in the _against_ portion, but Isobel had wrestled her into deleting _I'm not very interesting_ and _I'm reasonably plain_ because they were apparently invalid arguments.

Personally, Beatrice thought they held _some_ weight, but Isobel refused to back down.

"That was no help at all." The words were punctuated by a sigh. "What am I going to do?"

Isobel looked down at the tablet grimly. "Keep moving forward and hope for the best?"

"And what would be the best?" Beatrice pulled her knees up to her chest. "I don't know what the best outcome would be. What I _want_ it to be."

"From what I've read, I think it's something you figure out together." Isobel paused, delicately. "If you want."

Beatrice flopped onto her side on the bed. "This is going to end very badly."

Isobel bounced down next to her, on her back rather than her side, and tilted her head to look her in the eyes. "If it does," she said cheerily, "I'll kill him."

She tried not to laugh, but it wasn't successful. "No killing on my behalf."

"Too late," Isobel chided. "Well, no, I haven't done it _yet._ But the decision is already made. Make sure he knows the decision's been made!"

Beatrice sat up to reach over Isobel's prone form and grab a pillow. With no grace, she fell back and pulled it over her head. "I can't hear you. I'm asleep." 

It didn't work, but it was fun to argue with Isobel. To be _seen_ by someone and appreciated. The problem was, Kit Monahan gave her that feeling too, and to her spirit, he was far more dangerous.

Watching Beatrice move through most spaces was fascinating. She always managed to take up as little space as possible, flowing through people the same way he might barrel through. He wouldn't call himself clumsy or giant by any stretch of the imagination, but for all his feline grace, Beatrice moving through a busy space felt more like art than anything he'd ever come close to in either form. 

That was why, when he asked Pietro where she was and he directed Kit toward the training facility, he raced over, eager to see her at work. The closest he'd come to seeing combat capabilities from her was when she'd pointed a gun at his face, and she hadn't been _Beatrice_ then. She'd just been some Psy he didn't know, forgettable and easy to overlook if not for what he'd wanted to ask her.

Would it have been that easy? To just... go on with his life, never having wondered what she was thinking, never having bothered to ask?

The thought was disquieting, but not enough to slow him down. He nearly knocked down two juveniles as they opened the door ahead of him, but they laughed it off, young enough in their preteens to laugh without reservation six years after Silence. Not like Beatrice. Though he'd seen her smile, he had yet to hear her laugh, and it had become a personal goal looming larger with each night it eluded him. 

Slowing now that he was inside, Kit peered into the windows of each facility. The redesign was meant to give an open, airy feel to the building, from what Cristobel had explained. Rather than shut in, this was a place where the children would be free, not only to express their positive emotions but to give in to anger and learn to control it. Just like changelings learned to keep their claws in even when they were angry, so too did the Arrows, under the watchful eye of their trainers. This place had clearly been rebuilt for another reason, one that went unspoken but even Kit could understand: it would've held the worst memories for all of them, would've been the first place remodeled once the living spaces were built.

No one wanted to go into a building to build their future that had housed their torture for so many long, miserable years.

Turning a corner, he slowed to a stop, heart racing as his instincts whirred. He knew this must be a training exercise, but for a moment he wanted to burst into the room and stand between Beatrice and her assailants, for there were far too many.

Kit had a hand on the door handle when he realized that their faces didn't look quite right. The six attackers were murky and indistinct, and while their bodies moved with all the right anatomy and form, and their hits landed when they managed it, this was enough to break the illusion in his mind. _They're not real._ The architect of this training was Beatrice herself, having given the scenario difficult odds to test her abilities. Clearly, something was on her mind. 

Instead of interfering, he ducked low, to the lower portion of the window that was frosted over. He didn't want to interrupt by his mere presence, not when he could watch her work a little and see what her claws looked like. His leopard stood at attention within, waiting for something, though neither of them were sure of what they waited for.

She wasn't a perfect fighter. She took almost as many hits as she gave, and he winced at the thought of how many bruises she would carry over the next few days. They had her on the ground several times, but she got to her feet as quickly as she fell, resolve on her features that would normally be masked. He watched her try again and again to take on far too many assailants, her clothes clinging to her skin as she refused to use her psychic abilities to aid in the mock-battle. It was clear she was determined to do this on physical prowess alone, and while any casual civilian would be taken down by Beatrice with ease, it was _also_ clear that she would struggle against so many trained fighters. No matter what. 

Ferocity was not instinctual for her, but it was certainly practiced. 

Beatrice hit the ground twice more before he couldn't stand it. Maybe this was building her skill, but all he could _see_ it doing was exhausting her and making her more and more frustrated. He opened the door so hard it banged against the wall, and she turned, distracted by the intrusion. One of her phantom opponents grabbed her by the throat and slammed her into the ground, and with that, the six disappeared, leaving only a coughing Beatrice laid flat on her back.

Kit rushed over, horrified. "Shit, I'm sorry, are you okay? Beatrice?" She was turned away from him, but her coughs had begun to slow, and he reached out a hand to brush her hair from her face. Even clouded by his worry for her sorry state, he cataloged the sensation, unsure if she would let him touch her like this again. As much as he _wanted_ to, he'd been slow and patient, coaxing and petting her like he'd watched so many of his pack do to their mates. 

He pointedly ignored the word association at play, focusing on the sound of her harsh breathing. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I shouldn't have distracted you."

Unconsciously, Beatrice had curled in on herself, almost in a fetal position. Now, as she began to pay some attention to him again, she gently uncurled. Slowly, carefully, she turned so she was facing him, and Kit lay on his side next to her, instinct pushing him to make them equals. He'd always thought of himself as someone who would relish control, but as with most things, he found himself wanting to _share_ with her. There was no one he'd met that valued power less than Beatrice, but control didn't have to mean power. To her, he understood it to mean safety. _That_ was what he tried to channel.

Pillowed on his hand, he traced her features uninterrupted, from the dark sweep of her lashes against her cheek to the fan of her hair against the training room floor. When she opened her eyes, they were warm; she didn't need to say anything to tell him he was forgiven. In that moment, it was like he could read the words in her gaze, and he marveled at how far she'd come. A week and a half ago, she wouldn't meet his eyes. Now, their connection held, and warmth spread outward from his chest in an unfamiliar way.

Her voice was hoarse when she finally spoke. "It's not you. I wasn't completing the course, anyway."

"You never gave up on it." He wouldn't lie to her and say that he'd seen her victory in her movements, because he hadn't. She simply didn't move with instinctive violence, much more prone to shielding herself and, as a result, never quite managing to take out her opponents. "Why run that? It had to be taxing. You were making the illusions, weren't you?"

A nod that seemed a little lopsided at this angle, causing a smile to brush his lips. "It helps maintain discipline. I take no chance of lashing out and smashing anyone's shields while I channel my psychic abilities into another outlet. By using them to fight myself, no one gets hurt but me."

"A failsafe." He understood the concept, though he hated to see the fresh bruises already mottling her skin red. "Is your ability that violent?"

Silence was her answer for a long moment. Kit was accustomed to his cat's violence, accepted it as a part of his being, but he sensed that Beatrice's feelings on the matter might differ. She opened her mouth for a moment and closed it again, looking toward his feet.

"You don't have to talk about it," he assured her, already sorry he asked. She so rarely wore pain openly in her expression, and she was already hurting. The leopard's curiosity was strong, but the protective instinct was stronger.

Yet he should've remembered not to underestimate her strength. "You can't always be the one sharing," she whispered, reaching a tired hand toward him in what seemed to be instinct. Her fingertips barely brushed his cheek for a moment, but it felt as though they burned.

Two inclinations fought in his heart. He wanted to know more about her, more than the surface things he'd learned and savored like sweet morsels. On the other hand, she was exhausted, clearly upset, and his chest felt tight every time he found another bruise against her skin. In the end, curiosity won out, as it often did with cats.

"I told you that Arrows often kill or maim their guardian without realizing, when they're very young."

He felt a hole open up in the pit of his stomach. Losing his parents had been excruciating, but he'd lost them after he was old enough to understand who he was with them, and to move on. To lose her guardian as such a young girl... Beatrice had to have blamed herself.

"When I was three, my ability manifested. I had lost a learning tool under the bed and was unable to retrieve it. I called out for my Father, but he was busy, and I was... unhappy." Beatrice sucked in a breath, sitting up so suddenly he almost jumped. Kit sat up as well, unable to stop himself from reaching out. He couldn't watch her curl in on herself again without holding her. Not when it was so clear, from head to toe, that she needed to be held.

Beatrice went willingly into his arms, something that both surprised and delighted him in spite of the harsh topic. She laid her head on his chest as if she'd done it a thousand times, and he laid his head on top of hers, just listening. 

"I don't remember doing anything, but I remember him screaming." It was said bloodlessly, hopelessly, but her small frame shook. "I ran out to find him collapsed on the floor, seizing. I didn't know what to do. I was only three. When a neighbor called Enforcement, thinking there had been a break-in, critical time passed before they were able to summon medical help." The words were as cold as her tone was miserable. They were all put together right, but the emotion behind them was brutally sad, filling with shame with each new letter. "He was lucky. He survived shattered shields, which is not always possible, but he retained no movement on his left side." She turned a moment, her face pressed against him, before pulling away to hug her knees. Kit moved to keep his arm around her.

It didn't matter what she was trying to do. He would _not_ let her be distant for a confession like this.

"They were afraid to sit with me. The Enforcement officers were human, and I was dangerous to them. I know that now." She paused. "I don't blame them. Or him." Her voice shook. "A teleport-capable Arrow came to get me. I asked them to see my father, but they refused." She looked at him for the first time during this story, her eyes welled with tears. He'd never seen such intense emotion from her before.

"Oh, honey," Kit murmured, reaching out to swipe a tear away as it rolled down her cheek. She tilted her head at his touch, like an animal torn between curiosity and wariness. 

"I learned later that the Arrow who collected me was Patten. He trained Vasic, but he was... altered, by Jax. Too significantly to train anyone _but_ Vasic, but he was the only other Tk-V. He wasn't good for much more than retrieval, then." She reached up to brush away tears on her face, and Kit kept his hand on her neck, thumb running soothingly along her jaw. "He died, I think. Not that long after. And I became an Arrow."

He went to hold her, but she wouldn't have it, not yet finished. Now that she'd started baring her soul, she couldn't seem to stop, and he knew she would feel better if she let it all out at once. She seemed to agree.

"I learned quickly, but I've never received top marks. I knew I wasn't... good. I just was. I belonged, but not really." She shook her head. "Ming LeBon once told me that I should prepare to sacrifice myself, should another, more important Arrow come under fire." Her lower lip trembled. "I knew then that I was good for only that. Nothing more, nothing less."

"That's not true." Kit's tone was fierce. 

Beatrice laughed. "I know _now._ Mostly." She seemed surprised that she could laugh at a time like this, and Kit was startled by its effect. It was a sweet laugh, the sweetest sound he'd ever heard her make. It reminded him that she was young, when she always acted as though she was so calm and at peace. It was the type of laugh that made you want to smile back, though their talk was too somber for him to fully commit to that instinctual response.

"I was just vulnerable. I didn't know how much, really, even as the Honeycomb went into effect and I realized that I was feeling things I was told not to feel." She brushed a hand across her face again, clearing it of tears at last, though her cheeks remained ruddy and flushed. "Zaira told me later that I was actually doing _better_ than most of the students, because I had psychic control in the realm of emotion. That I was unique. _Special._ " Her face grew hard. "I just wish she was the first one to tell me that."

Once again, that yawning pit of dread opened up within him. "And she wasn't?"

A grim nod. "Blake noticed me. Because I was so... weak. Plain. _Dependent._ " She bit her lip to keep from continuing, but he could see the urge. It was clear that Beatrice didn't find much value in who she'd been at that point, though Kit privately thought she sounded very strong. So many Psy had struggled with emotion, especially outside of the E designation, but not Beatrice. She wasn't simple, she was _adaptable._ Important in a way that wasn't immediately obvious, talented in subtleties most people lacked. In that moment, he was very, very proud of her.

"He took advantage of my lack of visibility and tried to make me like him. A killer." Beatrice's eyes met his again, suddenly desperate. "I didn't. I didn't hurt her, Kit. Not like he wanted. I couldn't, I thought, I'd just failed my trainer and I was terrified, but I _couldn't._ "

Unable to help himself, he pulled her close again, drawing her over his lap so he could hold her tightly. "I know," he assured her, feeling her pulse pound against his skin as his nose brushed her neck. "I know, honey bee." He didn't even know where the nickname came from, except that he was sick of pretending he didn't want those privileges. He didn't want to call her _Beatrice._ He wanted to call her all those mushy names packmates made for each other, the kind that came with all kinds of privileges. Hearing her bare her soul like this, he knew he couldn't possibly walk away, and the fact that she _allowed_ them, feeling safe in his arms?

Walking away had never really been an option.

"Anyway, that's why I do it." Beatrice pushed her hair behind her ears, still sitting in his lap, almost unaware that she was doing so. She seemed to gravitate toward him on instinct, seeking comfort, and he wanted to be that for her. He didn't mind in the least; she was barely a weight, her slight body more muscled than one might expect on first glance, but nowhere near matching his own strength. 

"This?" Kit gestured around the training room.

"This." Beatrice nodded. "If I can take them down, I can protect myself. I'm not relying on others."

Kit took her hand in his, holding it close to his chest beneath his palm. "Pack relies on each other. You have a pretty stable pack around you. Is it so bad to lean on them?"

She frowned. "They don't lean on me."

He shook his head. "Beatrice, they trust you with the most young, the most vulnerable. You're guarding the future. That's a pretty heavy lean."

It was amusing, almost, watching her try and refute his argument. Her brow furrowed slightly under intense thought, and her lips parted slightly. He leaned closer, almost forgetting himself with his desire to just _kiss_ her, but her voice pulled him out of it.

_Not yet. She's not there yet._

"I'm going to figure out an argument for that. When I feel better, of course."

His lips quirked. "Of course."

In spite of her middling combat ability, she sprung to her feet with lithe grace, holding out a hand to help him up. He took it, not because he needed it, but for an excuse to keep in contact. "Come," she said with as much cheer as she could muster, "We'll go see Aden. He hates when I do this."

Kit let her pull him to his feet with a grin. "Definitely an Alpha, then."

She pushed his shoulder, and when they walked out of the training room, they walked side by side. Like they were meant to, though neither of them coordinated a thing.

After that, it was as though a dam broke between them. Beatrice no longer cared for her modesty; she'd exposed the most raw and aching parts of herself to Kit, and he hadn't run. He didn't have the same dark past as she did, but he'd already shared so many of his struggles with her. Enough that she felt trusted. Enough that she felt like he had given her a gift, though she had given him so little in return.

It all went by too fast for her liking.

Now that she had a daily dinner partner, Beatrice spent less time reading in the evenings, but it didn't seem to matter, not when she returned with a new story for Isobel and some color in her cheeks. As the days got shorter, the nights seemed to get longer, until she found herself wishing she no longer needed rest or sleep, just to keep talking. Discovering things about Kit also forced her to consider the parallels and differences in herself; her self-image grew sharp, distinct lines it never really had before. 

When Zaira called her in to discuss her mission, she almost forgot she was on one.

"How's it going?" she asked as Beatrice sat down. "I've heard good things, but you've spent the most time with him."

Beatrice blinked almost owlishly. "I have?" She knew that, deep down, but she was avoiding examining it too closely.

"Who else is talking to him late into the evening?"

"Oh." It was a quiet sound that encapsulated a world of emotion. She really _was_ spending a lot of time with Kit. It was... fun. "Well. It's going well."

Zaira's eyebrows rose.

"Really well!" Beatrice leaned forward. "If his whole pack is as inquisitive and accepting as Kit, I don't think we'll have an issue."

"And for you?"

Her heart felt like it skipped a beat. "For me?"

"What's he like for you?"

Palms sweaty, she clasped them on her knees for a moment. "What do you mean?"

Zaira got up from behind the desk she'd been working at, walking around to lean against it and put a hand on Beatrice's shoulder. "Do you like him?"

 _Like_ him? "Of course," she said automatically. "As I've said, he's an inquisitive, bright mind with a willingness to learn about us."

Zaira gently squeezed. "After he leaves, do you want to spend more time with him?"

 _Oh._ Beatrice considered it. She'd almost forgotten Kit would have to leave soon. "I... yes. Yes. If he wanted. If he asked."

Head tilted, Zaira looked at her. She didn't have to say anything to make Beatrice feel as see-through as a window pane. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yes." A smile from the person who'd done more for her than any biological parent. "You look good, Beatrice. Strong."

She considered those specific words, and who they were coming from, as she got to her feet. "I feel strong." It was true. Not just because of Kit, but because in answering his questions, she'd learned more about herself than she'd ever before considered. Leaning in, she held Zaira tight. "Thank you."

Zaira held her just as tightly back.

Kit didn't think much of hearing footsteps behind him at this point. The Valley was far more crowded than his cat preferred, but he understood it was the way they lived, all on top of one another with little space between. He didn't even turn around until a deadly voice said, "Kit Monahan."

He froze, spinning to face Zaira Neve in the flesh. He'd spoken to her once over comms when he first arrived, but even though she was tiny in comparison to him, she was far more intimidating in person.

"That's me," he said, unsure of what to do. The Arrow alpha pair was unique, and they would most definitely _not_ follow changeling protocols.

"Come with me." Kit followed without seeing any other option, though he was apprehensive. Her tone and demeanor certainly didn't suggest that she was happy with him. He wondered if that was just her general disposition, but as she'd never really been much for press and neither had Aden, he had no read on her.

He followed her into an empty training classroom, at which point she closed the door behind him. It felt more and more like an interrogation, though he was struggling to figure out what, exactly, he'd done to earn it.

Zaira turned to face him slowly. "As I'm sure you're aware, Beatrice is a part of my familial unit. Myself and Aden, while we are not her biological parents, are her guardians."

Kit blinked. "She's mentioned it. She thinks very highly of you." 

A smile that was as black and deadly as a blade. "I think very highly of her. Don't you?"

"I do," Kit responded immediately. "I really do. I — "

"It's my job, you see, to assess threats to her. As her guardian."

He glared. "I would never hurt Beatrice. I wouldn't let anything happen to her." His cat roared in his chest at the very concept.

Zaira never stopped smiling. "Ensure that you don't. I will kill anyone or anything that menaces her. Do you understand? Slowly."

He'd received the 'talk' from girls' parents before, but he had to admit, this was by far the scariest occurrence of it. "Perfectly."

"And?"

"And," Kit said slowly, stepping forward and crossing his arms, "You won't scare me off."

She studied him a moment. "Good."

It wasn't long after her recommendation that Kit got the news he was free to share with his Alpha. It was determined that they wouldn't share the identity of the Arrows with anyone outside of Alpha and her sentinels until the alliance was more established, but it was an excellent start. Beatrice knew it was the answer Kit had been hoping for, and when he scooped her up into a hug after running to tell her the news, all she could do was cling tightly back.

If they used the concept of skin privileges, Kit had more than earned them with her. 

"Thank you," he whispered, mouth at the shell of her ear. Beatrice felt goosebumps on the back of her neck which she resolutely ignored. Instead, she took his face in her hands, looking into his eyes with confidence for the first time. "You did it all on your own. You're very good at this."

His smile overtook his features, eyes crinkling at the corners. Beatrice found herself wishing, rather than looking away, that she could look a while longer. Happiness seemed to bring little green flecks out in his gaze, and she'd spent so little time studying it —

but he had a home, and so did she. 

She stepped back, putting a bit of distance between them, but Kit only chased her forward. He stood so close their toes nearly touched. "You should visit," he said before she could say something terrible inane. She was never good at telling people goodbye; she rarely had practice with people caring whether she did in the first place.

"Visit?" Beatrice was positive she sounded like an idiot, but her brain felt broken.

"Yeah. You know, cultural immersion. I spend a few weeks with the Arrows, you spend a few weeks with me. That's only fair, isn't it?"

It felt like a trick, but she couldn't fault the logic. Was this his way of saying he wanted to spend more time with her? Did he really mean for her to receive cultural understanding via a learning exchange? She couldn't read him well enough. "Yes," she agreed, because whatever his motivations, hers were crystal clear. "Yes, I'd like that."

He was set to depart as soon as possible, ready to begin his training with his alpha. When she looked, she saw that his pack lay next to her door, already full to bursting again. "You're leaving now?"

"I have to," he said, jaw clenched a moment. "The instability caused by me leaving so soon after swearing myself to SunCreek will only get worse the longer I stay away. An Alpha needs to remain with their pack as much as possible."

Beatrice swallowed. After weeks of seeing his things strewn around an Arrow housing unit, it had been easy to imagine him staying... longer. "I understand." She didn't even know why she was saying it. It wasn't like he was beholden to her in any way. "I'll walk you to the tree line?"

"It won't interrupt your schedule?" She normally held a reading circle on Thursday evenings, and the sun was rapidly setting.

"I've got it," Isobel called over Beatrice's shoulder, causing her face to color. "Go, go."

Beatrice ran back in to throw her arms around Isobel before grabbing her coat and heading out the door. The walk was quiet, but it was peaceful. Kit's presence, once looming so large over her, had now grown as comfortable as a woolen hat or well-worn mittens. 

She kept her hands stuffed into her pockets, but occasionally their arms brushed, and every time her heartbeat kicked up for a few moments. 

By the time they reached the trees the night sky was black, the stars out to play in a gorgeous display. Perhaps she would commit some of the portions to memory tonight, so as to use them in her next illusion tricks.

Beatrice looked up, making out Kit's eyes only barely in the dim light. "I'll see you soon," she said quietly, almost afraid to burst the bubble of silence between them.

She thought she saw his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed, but it could've been a trick of the moonlight. "I — will you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

Kit reached into the inner pocket of his coat, taking out something that glinted silver in the moonlight. He grasped her hand and placed what she discovered to be a necklace in her palm, closing her fingers around it tightly. 

"What is it?"

"Dog tags." Kit's voice was deep and harsh somehow. Emotional. "They were my parents'. Rina gave them to me when I became a proper soldier in DarkRiver."

Beatrice knew, after multiple weeks with him, how much Kit's parents meant to him. "I can't take these, Kit — "

"Not forever," he assured her. "Just... keep them safe for me. I don't wear them usually, because I'd lose them when I shifted, and until SunCreek really feels like _home_ and I know it inside and out... well, I'd prefer to keep them with someone I know would never lose them."

Oh, Kit. Her heart felt tender, maybe bruised with her affection for him. "Alright." She opened her hand and grasped the chain, sliding it over her head. Kit pulled her hair gently out from under the chain, settling her so the dog tags lay between her breasts, partially peeking out of her shirt but partially protected. He smiled softly, somewhere between sad and something more eager that she was unable to identify.

"Now I know I'll see you soon," she joked. Kit laughed with his head thrown back.

"You will."

"I mean it," she promised, fierce with it.

"You'd better."

They both stood there a moment longer, staring at each other with nothing left to say. Or rather, Beatrice thought, far too many things to say and not enough time to say them the way she wanted. She opened her mouth just as Kit turned away, starting into the trees and toward his real home.

It felt like a loss, to have it so close yet so far from hers.

She watched him go about ten feet before he stopped dead, pack dropping to the forest floor. "Is something wrong?" she called out, worry crossing her features. Had he seen a bear or some other natural threat?

Kit turned around and stalked toward her, almost hurried as he moved. She went to ask again but he was already nearing her, hands reaching down to hold her face steady as he searched it.

"Kit?" she asked, breathing shallow.

"I can't go back without asking," he said, determination lining his words. "Can I kiss you?"

It was so unexpected that for a moment she could say nothing at all. The silence lasted, in fact, a hairs' breadth too long. Kit began to lower his arms, and only her hands at his wrists stopped them sliding to her shoulders and off her body. She held him there, steady, as his gaze searched hers in the barest of moonlight.

"I would like you to," she whispered, "very much." 

And though she'd never kissed anyone before, when his lips touched hers, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone, she thought it might be nice not to kiss anyone else. _Just this one,_ she decided. _This one's mine._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for having requested this pairing! I would love to write a sequel for this and gift it at some point, as I probably would've produced something around 50k words if given twice as long to write, but I hope this works!
> 
> EDIT: you can find me on twitter at @martyrsdaughter and talk psy-changeling at me whenever you like.


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